How I Came To Be Here - Hi Everyone - Read & Share Experiences

Jackie

Well-known member
You shouldn't base your decision to "repooch" on the nearness of the end. Heck, I am seriously thinking about "repooching." A Doberman-type attack dog might be useful in the days ahead. :unsure::whistle:

Here's the old dawg and me out on a hunt. (I am the one wearing sunglasses)

View attachment 413
Beautiful dog, Jehovah certainly knew what the animals would do for us. They are wonderful companions and therapeutic too and I don’t know where I would be right now without my doggie. I remember a WT, I’ll have to look for it, recommending not getting pets during the time of the end and the sister I studied with decided not to get another cat when it died bc the world could use it against us and torture it to test our loyalty to Jehovah which I thought was quite sad.
 

BARNABY THE DOG.

Well-known member
Years ago, back in the early 90s, I had serious misgivings about the Watchtower, thinking it had gone apostate and that Jehovah had rejected it, though I still felt that Jehovah's Witnesses had the true faith and I still had faith in Jehovah, Jesus Christ and the Bible as God's inspired Word. I'm not exactly sure why I felt that way about the organization, other than seeing failings of some elders to take action on certain things and not seeing the love that Jesus said would identify his disciples, and some mistreatment by some so-called "brothers" that I experienced, which I won't go into here. I just sensed very strongly that something was very wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. That would have been about the time when the Watchtower began it's 10 year partnership with the UN, and it no doubt had an effect on the spirit of the whole organization, as well as the secret child abuse problems, which no doubt effected Jehovah's spirit and blessing on the organization as well. I was unaware of the organizational child abuse policy problem and coverup or the Watchtower / UN partnership, though I remember wondering about the articles about the UN in the Awake magazines. I hadn't figured it all out back then or put the pieces together, so the pieces were just put on a shelf as I went on with my life as best I could trying to find some happiness and enjoyment in life, but torn and confused within, lost and also feeling guilty too. As Jehovah's Witnesses, it seems many of us do struggle with guilt issues, don't we?

It's been about 3 years or so now since I came upon Robert King's channel on YouTube. Seeking a closer relationship with Jehovah, and seeking on YouTube, I'd become aware of the Watchtower's UN Partnership, 🤯then the Watchtower's Child Abuse scandal, 🤯 and it just all blew my mind. I knew there were problems with the Watchtower, but never imagined the extent of them. So, I'm sure that it was by Jehovah's direction that I came upon Robert's channel on YouTube and what an eye opening and enlightening journey its been since then! 😳. So, by listening to Robert King's YouTube videos I found out about the whole 1914 hoax, which was another HUGE mindblower. 🤯 Though I was actually glad that 1914 was incorrect, as I never really got that anyway, it was quite earth-shattering to realize that an organization that I was viewed a being part and parcel to the truth had misled me for so many years of my life! 🤯 But, thanks to Robert's book, Jehovah Has Become King, and his other publishings, the pieces started to fall into place and make sense.

It's a LOT to wrap your head around, especially having been Watchtower deluded for so many years. I really liked what Robert was saying but thought at times and even feared that perhaps I was being misled by an an apostate agent of Satan. (So sorry Robert, love you my brother 💜 Watchtower conditioning). But, after thouroughly examining his videos, book, and postings on e-watchman.com, I'm conviced that he is correct and that Jehovah has been using him to help Jehovah's sheep. But, don't take anyone's word for it, as we don't want to be followers of men. One needs to thouroughly examine the facts for themselves, but always praying and relying on Jehovah to help you to understand the truth about the truth. 🙏📖

Link to JEHOVAH HAS BECOME KING book site with AUDIO: https://jehovah-is-king.com

Link to E-Watchman website:

I often wonder about that scripture, in that you “will recognise my people by the love they have amongst each other.” I think we would be more recognisable as a group if Christ had said; “You will recognise my people by the arguments they have amongst each other.” That was not allowed in watchtower, to argue the truth, and probably the main cause that the apostasy flourished.
 

MickHewitt

Well-known member
Yes I live in England. There are no indicators to say where we are in the covid debacle, other than to say that the numbers infected with covid are (reported) dropping off. As the government paid hospitals for each recorded patient in hospital that had covid, everyone that died for what ever reason, if they “had” covid, they got paid by the government an allowance. Thus (it appears) everyone who died in hospital was labelled “with covid”. As the span covered ANYONE who died with covid, I.e., not necessarily because of it, with 28 days of admission, it also appears that few, if any, died of any other cause over the last 2 years. Given that statistic, it’s difficult to trust the numbers now. What is clear is that suddenly, no one gives a toss about covid and everyone is going back to the office. Make of it what you will. The government threatened all hospital staff to be vaccinated by this week or face dismissal, but in the light of it resulting in 7,000 staff being sacked this Friday, when there are already 10,000 unfilled medical vacancies, seems to have been quietly dropped, never to surface again probably. Doubtless some new variant will kick off again but in the interim, it appears that our “government” has decided to threaten Russian with “serious repercussions“ if Russia invades Ukraine. It takes some degree of idiocy to think that Russia would take any threat from the U.K. seriously, but our government seems to think they can take on Russia. MST if our politicians would not even be granted a visa to visit Russia, let alone threaten it. Still, stupid is as stupid does. So, take your pick….another virus to break the system, or a brief exchange of nuclear greeting cards. Right now, I’m expecting visiting card from Russia through my letter box, but as with the last war, we were always safe in the cupboard under the stairs, so I’m not really bothered either way.
All those taking part in the Chinese games have to be immunised. It will be embarrassing if many start falling over! Good to hear from you Barnaby
 

JTK

Well-known member
I often wonder about that scripture, in that you “will recognise my people by the love they have amongst each other.” I think we would be more recognisable as a group if Christ had said; “You will recognise my people by the arguments they have amongst each other.” That was not allowed in watchtower, to argue the truth, and probably the main cause that the apostasy flourished.
thats a really good point, showing love for each other does not necessarily mean having a trouble free relationship, quite often difficult conversations come about within loving relationships and in the case of establishing biblical truths is not some difficult discussion a necessity.
 

BARNABY THE DOG.

Well-known member
All those taking part in the Chinese games have to be immunised. It will be embarrassing if many start falling over! Good to hear from you Barnaby
Hi Mick, nice to find you at last….this site is like a cross between a dictionary and that Jumanji game. Lost under a pile pile of words and can’t find the old crew from HMS Watchman. Seems that I’ve found myself onboard Symphony of the Seas….better than the watchtower titanic I suppose!
 

Seeker

Well-known member
Hello everyone - nice to meet you all.

Many thanks to Bro. King for starting this forum - I have followed his website pretty much since it’s inception in 2002.

I’m the youngest of 4 children with a considerable age gap between myself and my older siblings. My parents are from the Caribbean and were raised Catholic (mom) and Anglican (dad). They emigrated to Canada in 1968.

Until I was about 8 years old I remember being taken by my mom to a couple of different churches (Pentecostal), celebrating Christmas and other holidays etc. Then my mom was contacted by the JW’s, progressed very quickly and was baptized in 1983 when I was 9 years old. My dad wasn’t studying at the time but was supportive of her, attended meetings, etc. Suddenly there was no more Christmas tree or holidays celebrated. My older brothers - who were in their late teens - immediately said “no thanks, we’re good” and showed no interest in converting to a new religion. They were ready to head off to university, had girlfriends etc. That left me as the one child my parents focused their new found faith upon. I was very resentful about this to say the least. I HATED going to the KH especially on Tuesday nights for 2 hours, then Thursday night for an hour (book study) then another 2+ hours on Sunday. I just wanted to be like my friends at school and the other neighbourhood kids, and I resented being subjected to new ‘rules’ and a new way of life that my older brothers weren’t required to be part of. I didn’t want to be any different than my friends at school. I had begun excelling at sports at a young age but my parents pulled me from such activities at the behest of the congregation elders in favour meeting attendance and pursuing “theocratic” things.

While having such strong resentment, I was placed in a study with a brother in this late teens / early 20’s. His name was David and he actually was an easy going guy. He made our study somewhat bearable…he told jokes, occasionally took me out to eat following our study (the You Can Live Forever book) and generally made things fun. But not long after we began studying his family announced that they were moving cities and heading to a new congregation. Before I could even bat an eyelash, my mom told me that I would now be continuing my study with another brother in the congregation, one whom I had absolute NOTHING in common with…I’d almost call him the congregation “outcast”- he had absolutely ZERO social skills…would sit by himself at meetings due to his awkwardness. I’ll never forget the night my mom told me I’d now be studying with him, it was at the KH after the Tuesday night ministry school and service meeting. I have PTSD from it to this day and it was almost 40 years ago.

I continued to study with this person for almost 10 years but never progressed to baptism. He often would say “you know the purpose of this is to get baptized, you get that, right?” but I just didn’t want to do it. I felt that I knew who Jehovah was but I just couldn’t identify as a JW, I didn’t have the “identity” in my heart. And I had absolutely NO interest in going out in service and knocking on strangers doors. It had no appeal to me, and I dreaded ever knocking on a school friend’s door. Many of my friends at that time and even my friends now still don’t know I was ever associated with JW’s or that my parents have been (and still are) JW’s.

I eventually moved away to college at age 19 and I could not wait to get out from my parents roof, I wanted to be “free” and not have to attend the Hall or study any more, much to my parents chagrin but I’m sure they understood that I wasn’t committed. I just resented them for so much of my upbringing for raising me in the organization and having siblings who weren’t subjected to it. I didn’t want to be raised differently from them and have requirements that they did not have. Then layer on that I didn’t outwardly identify with the faith but felt this enormous sense of guilt because of it. I felt that I understood and appreciated who Jehovah was and who Jesus was, but since I didn’t get baptized or want to go out in service that I was unworthy and that there was something wrong with me or that I didn’t want “the truth”.

I lived away from home for about 5 years…dropped out of college, worked some odd part time jobs in the restaurant industry, partied, and did things not unbecoming of a Christian. And deep down always having a feeling of being lost and unfulfilled. I could never have a true relationship because I was always afraid to open up about my faith background, I could never open up about my parents being JW’s so I avoided true meaningful, vulnerable relationships with women.

Around 1998 I decided to move back closer to my hometown, then back to my parents house briefly before moving back out on my own again. Then around 2001 I began dating a co-worker who I was initially drawn to because I observed her reading a book about Jesus. It was in this relationship where I finally opened up a bit about my faith experience and how I was raised by parents who are JW’s. This was initially met with intrigue but over time she started to push for me to become a Baptist, which I was not interested in. I tried to reason with her about things like the absurdity of the Trinity but she was completely opposed. We broke up after 18 months of dating. It was also at this time when I discovered the e-watchman website. It gave me answers and a perspective that I never knew existed, especially about how the org is in fact correct about the truth about Jehovah and Jesus, but it was not the “spiritual paradise” that it bragged about being, and how 1914 is not true. And I was amazed to see that the child abuse stuff I had previously read about the org was actually true. Learning more about the Watchtower child abuse database really blew my mind. I found comfort in the fact that yes God was real, but the organization wasn’t the perfect entity that it boasts about being, and there were real-life (and prophetic) parallels to prove this. I have continued to follow the site ever since and have seen it evolve (can’t believe it has been over 20 years!!). I’m forever indebted to Brother King for what he has taught me. Thank you.

In 2009 I began dating the woman who I would eventually marry and have my now 9 year old son with. Our relationship began well and my parents and family took a liking to her. We married in 2011, but after nearly 5 years our marriage broke down and we officially divorced in 2016.

After 4 years of grief and rebuilding my life I met the person I’m now in a relationship with in 2019 and we plan to marry later this year. It has been a much healthier relationship. She also has children from a previous marriage.

So this leads me to where I am now.

I believe that Jehovah is the Almighty God. I believe in his son Jesus Christ and that the Kingdom will come. I pray that Jehovah will have mercy upon me, and that I can have a role in the declaration of his Kingdom, even if it costs me my own life. I may have to demonstrate my faith in a way I never thought I would have to. I must be up for this challenge.

I have never ever had to courage to speak about my beliefs, I feel like a coward because of this. Deep down I want to scream from the mountain tops about Jehovah and preach so feverishly and boldly, I’ve never had the courage. I’ve gotten to a point where my dying wish is to have a witness to the world so powerful and bold that declares the majesty of Jehovah and his son Jesus. I pray to God often asking him to give me this power beyond what I currently know myself.

I’m overwhelmed with guilt. At the same time I feel so grateful for even the smallest of blessings that Jehovah gives me. I pray to him so sincerely and beg for mercy and forgiveness, but often feel like I am not worthy, and feel like I can’t approach Jehovah or accept any forgiveness from him. I keep condemning myself.

Did Peter not feel this way? Did he not hit rock bottom but then Jehovah empowered him to a point where he witnessed so strongly well beyond anything he could have possibly imagined? I pray that God will one day give me that power. I have a good heart, I’m just sinful and have fears and shortcomings. I just hope I can provide some kind of powerful witness before I die.

I want Jehovah to be glorified.

I want to save my son.

Thank you for reading.

Seeker
 

MickHewitt

Well-known member
Hello everyone - nice to meet you all.

Many thanks to Bro. King for starting this forum - I have followed his website pretty much since it’s inception in 2002.

I’m the youngest of 4 children with a considerable age gap between myself and my older siblings. My parents are from the Caribbean and were raised Catholic (mom) and Anglican (dad). They emigrated to Canada in 1968.

Until I was about 8 years old I remember being taken by my mom to a couple of different churches (Pentecostal), celebrating Christmas and other holidays etc. Then my mom was contacted by the JW’s, progressed very quickly and was baptized in 1983 when I was 9 years old. My dad wasn’t studying at the time but was supportive of her, attended meetings, etc. Suddenly there was no more Christmas tree or holidays celebrated. My older brothers - who were in their late teens - immediately said “no thanks, we’re good” and showed no interest in converting to a new religion. They were ready to head off to university, had girlfriends etc. That left me as the one child my parents focused their new found faith upon. I was very resentful about this to say the least. I HATED going to the KH especially on Tuesday nights for 2 hours, then Thursday night for an hour (book study) then another 2+ hours on Sunday. I just wanted to be like my friends at school and the other neighbourhood kids, and I resented being subjected to new ‘rules’ and a new way of life that my older brothers weren’t required to be part of. I didn’t want to be any different than my friends at school. I had begun excelling at sports at a young age but my parents pulled me from such activities at the behest of the congregation elders in favour meeting attendance and pursuing “theocratic” things.

While having such strong resentment, I was placed in a study with a brother in this late teens / early 20’s. His name was David and he actually was an easy going guy. He made our study somewhat bearable…he told jokes, occasionally took me out to eat following our study (the You Can Live Forever book) and generally made things fun. But not long after we began studying his family announced that they were moving cities and heading to a new congregation. Before I could even bat an eyelash, my mom told me that I would now be continuing my study with another brother in the congregation, one whom I had absolute NOTHING in common with…I’d almost call him the congregation “outcast”- he had absolutely ZERO social skills…would sit by himself at meetings due to his awkwardness. I’ll never forget the night my mom told me I’d now be studying with him, it was at the KH after the Tuesday night ministry school and service meeting. I have PTSD from it to this day and it was almost 40 years ago.

I continued to study with this person for almost 10 years but never progressed to baptism. He often would say “you know the purpose of this is to get baptized, you get that, right?” but I just didn’t want to do it. I felt that I knew who Jehovah was but I just couldn’t identify as a JW, I didn’t have the “identity” in my heart. And I had absolutely NO interest in going out in service and knocking on strangers doors. It had no appeal to me, and I dreaded ever knocking on a school friend’s door. Many of my friends at that time and even my friends now still don’t know I was ever associated with JW’s or that my parents have been (and still are) JW’s.

I eventually moved away to college at age 19 and I could not wait to get out from my parents roof, I wanted to be “free” and not have to attend the Hall or study any more, much to my parents chagrin but I’m sure they understood that I wasn’t committed. I just resented them for so much of my upbringing for raising me in the organization and having siblings who weren’t subjected to it. I didn’t want to be raised differently from them and have requirements that they did not have. Then layer on that I didn’t outwardly identify with the faith but felt this enormous sense of guilt because of it. I felt that I understood and appreciated who Jehovah was and who Jesus was, but since I didn’t get baptized or want to go out in service that I was unworthy and that there was something wrong with me or that I didn’t want “the truth”.

I lived away from home for about 5 years…dropped out of college, worked some odd part time jobs in the restaurant industry, partied, and did things not unbecoming of a Christian. And deep down always having a feeling of being lost and unfulfilled. I could never have a true relationship because I was always afraid to open up about my faith background, I could never open up about my parents being JW’s so I avoided true meaningful, vulnerable relationships with women.

Around 1998 I decided to move back closer to my hometown, then back to my parents house briefly before moving back out on my own again. Then around 2001 I began dating a co-worker who I was initially drawn to because I observed her reading a book about Jesus. It was in this relationship where I finally opened up a bit about my faith experience and how I was raised by parents who are JW’s. This was initially met with intrigue but over time she started to push for me to become a Baptist, which I was not interested in. I tried to reason with her about things like the absurdity of the Trinity but she was completely opposed. We broke up after 18 months of dating. It was also at this time when I discovered the e-watchman website. It gave me answers and a perspective that I never knew existed, especially about how the org is in fact correct about the truth about Jehovah and Jesus, but it was not the “spiritual paradise” that it bragged about being, and how 1914 is not true. And I was amazed to see that the child abuse stuff I had previously read about the org was actually true. Learning more about the Watchtower child abuse database really blew my mind. I found comfort in the fact that yes God was real, but the organization wasn’t the perfect entity that it boasts about being, and there were real-life (and prophetic) parallels to prove this. I have continued to follow the site ever since and have seen it evolve (can’t believe it has been over 20 years!!). I’m forever indebted to Brother King for what he has taught me. Thank you.

In 2009 I began dating the woman who I would eventually marry and have my now 9 year old son with. Our relationship began well and my parents and family took a liking to her. We married in 2011, but after nearly 5 years our marriage broke down and we officially divorced in 2016.

After 4 years of grief and rebuilding my life I met the person I’m now in a relationship with in 2019 and we plan to marry later this year. It has been a much healthier relationship. She also has children from a previous marriage.

So this leads me to where I am now.

I believe that Jehovah is the Almighty God. I believe in his son Jesus Christ and that the Kingdom will come. I pray that Jehovah will have mercy upon me, and that I can have a role in the declaration of his Kingdom, even if it costs me my own life. I may have to demonstrate my faith in a way I never thought I would have to. I must be up for this challenge.

I have never ever had to courage to speak about my beliefs, I feel like a coward because of this. Deep down I want to scream from the mountain tops about Jehovah and preach so feverishly and boldly, I’ve never had the courage. I’ve gotten to a point where my dying wish is to have a witness to the world so powerful and bold that declares the majesty of Jehovah and his son Jesus. I pray to God often asking him to give me this power beyond what I currently know myself.

I’m overwhelmed with guilt. At the same time I feel so grateful for even the smallest of blessings that Jehovah gives me. I pray to him so sincerely and beg for mercy and forgiveness, but often feel like I am not worthy, and feel like I can’t approach Jehovah or accept any forgiveness from him. I keep condemning myself.

Did Peter not feel this way? Did he not hit rock bottom but then Jehovah empowered him to a point where he witnessed so strongly well beyond anything he could have possibly imagined? I pray that God will one day give me that power. I have a good heart, I’m just sinful and have fears and shortcomings. I just hope I can provide some kind of powerful witness before I die.

I want Jehovah to be glorified.

I want to save my son.

Thank you for reading.

Seeker
Thanks for posting, wow!
 

BARNABY THE DOG.

Well-known member
Hello everyone - nice to meet you all.

Many thanks to Bro. King for starting this forum - I have followed his website pretty much since it’s inception in 2002.

I’m the youngest of 4 children with a considerable age gap between myself and my older siblings. My parents are from the Caribbean and were raised Catholic (mom) and Anglican (dad). They emigrated to Canada in 1968.

Until I was about 8 years old I remember being taken by my mom to a couple of different churches (Pentecostal), celebrating Christmas and other holidays etc. Then my mom was contacted by the JW’s, progressed very quickly and was baptized in 1983 when I was 9 years old. My dad wasn’t studying at the time but was supportive of her, attended meetings, etc. Suddenly there was no more Christmas tree or holidays celebrated. My older brothers - who were in their late teens - immediately said “no thanks, we’re good” and showed no interest in converting to a new religion. They were ready to head off to university, had girlfriends etc. That left me as the one child my parents focused their new found faith upon. I was very resentful about this to say the least. I HATED going to the KH especially on Tuesday nights for 2 hours, then Thursday night for an hour (book study) then another 2+ hours on Sunday. I just wanted to be like my friends at school and the other neighbourhood kids, and I resented being subjected to new ‘rules’ and a new way of life that my older brothers weren’t required to be part of. I didn’t want to be any different than my friends at school. I had begun excelling at sports at a young age but my parents pulled me from such activities at the behest of the congregation elders in favour meeting attendance and pursuing “theocratic” things.

While having such strong resentment, I was placed in a study with a brother in this late teens / early 20’s. His name was David and he actually was an easy going guy. He made our study somewhat bearable…he told jokes, occasionally took me out to eat following our study (the You Can Live Forever book) and generally made things fun. But not long after we began studying his family announced that they were moving cities and heading to a new congregation. Before I could even bat an eyelash, my mom told me that I would now be continuing my study with another brother in the congregation, one whom I had absolute NOTHING in common with…I’d almost call him the congregation “outcast”- he had absolutely ZERO social skills…would sit by himself at meetings due to his awkwardness. I’ll never forget the night my mom told me I’d now be studying with him, it was at the KH after the Tuesday night ministry school and service meeting. I have PTSD from it to this day and it was almost 40 years ago.

I continued to study with this person for almost 10 years but never progressed to baptism. He often would say “you know the purpose of this is to get baptized, you get that, right?” but I just didn’t want to do it. I felt that I knew who Jehovah was but I just couldn’t identify as a JW, I didn’t have the “identity” in my heart. And I had absolutely NO interest in going out in service and knocking on strangers doors. It had no appeal to me, and I dreaded ever knocking on a school friend’s door. Many of my friends at that time and even my friends now still don’t know I was ever associated with JW’s or that my parents have been (and still are) JW’s.

I eventually moved away to college at age 19 and I could not wait to get out from my parents roof, I wanted to be “free” and not have to attend the Hall or study any more, much to my parents chagrin but I’m sure they understood that I wasn’t committed. I just resented them for so much of my upbringing for raising me in the organization and having siblings who weren’t subjected to it. I didn’t want to be raised differently from them and have requirements that they did not have. Then layer on that I didn’t outwardly identify with the faith but felt this enormous sense of guilt because of it. I felt that I understood and appreciated who Jehovah was and who Jesus was, but since I didn’t get baptized or want to go out in service that I was unworthy and that there was something wrong with me or that I didn’t want “the truth”.

I lived away from home for about 5 years…dropped out of college, worked some odd part time jobs in the restaurant industry, partied, and did things not unbecoming of a Christian. And deep down always having a feeling of being lost and unfulfilled. I could never have a true relationship because I was always afraid to open up about my faith background, I could never open up about my parents being JW’s so I avoided true meaningful, vulnerable relationships with women.

Around 1998 I decided to move back closer to my hometown, then back to my parents house briefly before moving back out on my own again. Then around 2001 I began dating a co-worker who I was initially drawn to because I observed her reading a book about Jesus. It was in this relationship where I finally opened up a bit about my faith experience and how I was raised by parents who are JW’s. This was initially met with intrigue but over time she started to push for me to become a Baptist, which I was not interested in. I tried to reason with her about things like the absurdity of the Trinity but she was completely opposed. We broke up after 18 months of dating. It was also at this time when I discovered the e-watchman website. It gave me answers and a perspective that I never knew existed, especially about how the org is in fact correct about the truth about Jehovah and Jesus, but it was not the “spiritual paradise” that it bragged about being, and how 1914 is not true. And I was amazed to see that the child abuse stuff I had previously read about the org was actually true. Learning more about the Watchtower child abuse database really blew my mind. I found comfort in the fact that yes God was real, but the organization wasn’t the perfect entity that it boasts about being, and there were real-life (and prophetic) parallels to prove this. I have continued to follow the site ever since and have seen it evolve (can’t believe it has been over 20 years!!). I’m forever indebted to Brother King for what he has taught me. Thank you.

In 2009 I began dating the woman who I would eventually marry and have my now 9 year old son with. Our relationship began well and my parents and family took a liking to her. We married in 2011, but after nearly 5 years our marriage broke down and we officially divorced in 2016.

After 4 years of grief and rebuilding my life I met the person I’m now in a relationship with in 2019 and we plan to marry later this year. It has been a much healthier relationship. She also has children from a previous marriage.

So this leads me to where I am now.

I believe that Jehovah is the Almighty God. I believe in his son Jesus Christ and that the Kingdom will come. I pray that Jehovah will have mercy upon me, and that I can have a role in the declaration of his Kingdom, even if it costs me my own life. I may have to demonstrate my faith in a way I never thought I would have to. I must be up for this challenge.

I have never ever had to courage to speak about my beliefs, I feel like a coward because of this. Deep down I want to scream from the mountain tops about Jehovah and preach so feverishly and boldly, I’ve never had the courage. I’ve gotten to a point where my dying wish is to have a witness to the world so powerful and bold that declares the majesty of Jehovah and his son Jesus. I pray to God often asking him to give me this power beyond what I currently know myself.

I’m overwhelmed with guilt. At the same time I feel so grateful for even the smallest of blessings that Jehovah gives me. I pray to him so sincerely and beg for mercy and forgiveness, but often feel like I am not worthy, and feel like I can’t approach Jehovah or accept any forgiveness from him. I keep condemning myself.

Did Peter not feel this way? Did he not hit rock bottom but then Jehovah empowered him to a point where he witnessed so strongly well beyond anything he could have possibly imagined? I pray that God will one day give me that power. I have a good heart, I’m just sinful and have fears and shortcomings. I just hope I can provide some kind of powerful witness before I die.

I want Jehovah to be glorified.

I want to save my son.

Thank you for reading.

Seeker
You are not alone Seeker. Everyone here knows the truth from the bible. You know that already. As for your life story, it’s sad, but happy. Saying we all suffer such trials is not helpful, but each here I am sure, have met their trial and like you, have come to deal with It, just as you have done and are doing in coming to make the truth your own. None are good enough. That’s why Christ died for us. Jehovah wants no one to die, but all to attain to repentance. In that we are all equal. So take heart. There is great news before you. Great progress, and an enjoyable, fulfilling pathway to tread. It brings a comforting peace with it, along with the reason to fulfil Jehovah’s purpose for us in our lives. It is as Jesus said it would be, an easy yoke to bear. One might add, ‘as easy as WE make it!” The more we learn, the more comfortable our heart becomes to live with. Welcome.
 

Seeker

Well-known member
Aloha Seeker! To me, you just did! Thank you for relating your experience and struggles! I am ULTRA ENCOURAGED by your post!! Great name, "Seeker". Indeed you are! Take care bro and talk again soon!
Wow..thank you. You don't know how much that means to hear someone say this. So happy that my story could impact even 1 person in a positive way. You've brought tears to my eyes and have moved my heart. Thank you :)
 

Seeker

Well-known member
You are not alone Seeker. Everyone here knows the truth from the bible. You know that already. As for your life story, it’s sad, but happy. Saying we all suffer such trials is not helpful, but each here I am sure, have met their trial and like you, have come to deal with It, just as you have done and are doing in coming to make the truth your own. None are good enough. That’s why Christ died for us. Jehovah wants no one to die, but all to attain to repentance. In that we are all equal. So take heart. There is great news before you. Great progress, and an enjoyable, fulfilling pathway to tread. It brings a comforting peace with it, along with the reason to fulfil Jehovah’s purpose for us in our lives. It is as Jesus said it would be, an easy yoke to bear. One might add, ‘as easy as WE make it!” The more we learn, the more comfortable our heart becomes to live with. Welcome.
Thank you for your words, and for welcoming me. I like what you said about "making the truth my own". I remember while growing up in the cong a sister once saying this to me. She was implying that I would make the truth my own by submitting to the rules and regulations of the organization. I equated obedience to the org as being obedience to God. As my life has gone on I realize this isn't the case.
 

BARNABY THE DOG.

Well-known member
Thank you for your words, and for welcoming me. I like what you said about "making the truth my own". I remember while growing up in the cong a sister once saying this to me. She was implying that I would make the truth my own by submitting to the rules and regulations of the organization. I equated obedience to the org as being obedience to God. As my life has gone on I realize this isn't the case.
Very true. I have found that making the truth my own means coming to understand the attributes of Jehovah. It’s just not possible I feel, within watchtower because as you just said; loyalty to them is doing what they say, and which ultimately, severely limits the progress one can make in spiritual progress. To make spiritual progress, as the bible points out, you have to arm yourself with those elements of appreciation towards the attributes. This is what this site provides in the means to understand and apply and it does this simply by telling the truth, as much as any man can do or have the wit to describe. I feel that one has to have the attention of Jehovah to perform well at that task, but as for the sheep, there is food aplenty to graze on and ultimately see through the glass, dimly the open hand of the creator and the freedom of knowledge He offers. I have learnt more here in five short years that I did in a lifetime under the watchtower.
Now that you have decided to free yourself from the spiritual shackles that bound your progress to the limits of man’s own Limitations, you have every opportunity to develop what your heart has been looking for. Do not let your past experiences hold you back. Plenty of people who have seen watchtowers nakedness, go off cursing God for their misfortune of being deceived, unable to discern the truth behind the lie. As the bible says, the road is narrow. Few are those finding it. Clearly, Jehovah knows your heart.
 
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