Hi Goldie, I will tell you about my experience but the only thing that I want to “encourage” is for each person to search the scriptures, pray and wait for Jehovah’s spirit to lead you to resolve this question so that you can have complete peace of mind. I also think it is important to be careful not to give prominence to have our opinion be right, but instead to honestly analyze from what we know about our God and what he has revealed to us in his word, how he feels and what he wants us to do based on his principles.
First and foremost, I was found by the witnesses around 1989 in the door to door work as an adult single mother of 3 children but I was raised as a Catholic. I was an eyewitness of blatant hypocrisy in most religions and religious people and was disgusted by that. I actually would never have become one of Jehovah’s Witnesses if it had not been for the fact that we all have bibles and we look up scriptures during our meetings and so I wanted to be sure no one would ever trick me again into believing nonsense. Knowing the bible was to me a protection against wolves in sheep’s clothing. I thought that by always looking up scriptures to verify the points being made at the meetings and in publications was a great safeguard against religious error. That was really an integral part of my deciding to become one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
There were doubts along the way, but the doubts were about the imperfect men and women in the organization and never about the scriptural truths that I was learning. I gave a lot leeway to issues that I saw or that I suspected because we wait on Jehovah, right? So, I’ll list the few that I overlooked but still had logged in my memory. The UN NGO debacle that I was aware of from around 2013 but if I remember correctly Lett did a video addressing that where he said it was just to obtain a library card and they had resigned and it was just a honest mistake. In my mind at that time, I didn’t know if that was true but at the same time I couldn’t prove anything nefarious and I didn’t hear anyone else making accusations either. So, I just logged it but continued in the org.
Also, they seemed to constantly change the definition of what a generation was. That just made no sense to me and I would consider what if they are wrong about 1914. But being wrong about a prophecy date does not negate the bible and so that just wasn’t an issue that would make me want to leave the org.
Then COVID came along and the updates regarding the vaccine. I knew I did not want an experimental vaccine, but before I knew anything concrete about the vaccines, I did think that if my job required it then I would go ahead and get it. My job did not require it and I continued investigating it. When I found out that it damages the blood that is when for me, I decided it was a clear defilement of the flesh and since blood is sacred to Jehovah I could never get the COVID vaccine. Also, I wasn’t sure about the aborted fetal cells but I now am convinced on that too. The more I learned about the vaccines, the more I realized how deadly they are. Also around that time, I saw the jw.org website feature an article about misinformation. That article was nearly identical to articles being printed in worldly news sites and it seemed like a part of operation “mocking bird”. If you haven’t heard of it, that is the CIA trying to control public opinion. Of course I had no real evidence but again, it made me watchful of what else might come through the org.
For me the video updates were devastating. I waited to see if the org would backtrack and apologize, even though Meditator told me they would never apologize. They even contradicted their previous stand on health matters and those prior stands of being neutral regarding health matters were solidly based on scriptural principles. I literally cried for 2 months and could barely work during that time.
Meditator and I felt obligated to at least communicate our feelings along with the scriptural principles to the Elders in our congregation and we wrote a letter to them. We were nearly DF’d last year and to be honest, we did say that we thought it was looking like the GB was becoming an evil slave. So, that statement alone is probably enough to get us DF’d. They did not DF us initially but then they came back around to try to meet with us again. By then, we just decided to not engage with them any longer and I quit the meetings. But as I said I am now “free range” and so I look at the JW app pretty much every day and try to stay aware of what the org is doing and saying. I am obviously on this forum every day and I try to keep up with the e-Watchman site too. I’ve read Robert King’s book and listened to it on audio numerous times and I still witness informally at every opportunity particularly to the friends who still talk with me.
In summary I came to conclusion that for me, I cannot attend the meetings without telling the truth about what the GB, the Elders, etc are doing that violates the scriptures. And, I not only could not promote the 1914 fraud but I would have to verbally call it out when it was mentioned. So, I don’t think that stirring up arguments honor Jehovah but I also don’t think that sitting like a lump on a log while others push fraudulent prophecy interpretations to unsuspecting and vulnerable people is honoring Jehovah either. But that is my conscience. And, when they praise the GB in prayer, which they do often, I cannot say amen to that. Just sitting silently in my opinion would be further ”support” to their fraud. I just can’t do it. However, I did make an honest attempt to go back to the meetings in person when they opened up and I had an emotional breakdown again. So, I honestly believe Jehovah does not want me there. I pray every day for his guidance and it isn’t that I’m not willing to suffer for worshipping him in truth and spirit but it would hurt my conscience to sit silently at the meetings where all sorts of false religious error is being promoted.
Hope this helps.
