Anyone experienced this negative state of mind before or now?

PJ54

Well-known member
i used to attend AA meetings and they had all these sayings- one was if you were the hyper-sensitive type, you were said to be wearing a suit of mouse traps- one triggering the other until. . . and it’s not a fun place to be.

My doc put me on various medications to disable the “mouse traps” but the only thing they ever did for me was lower my inhibition. The only thing that worked to disable them was and is prayer.
I'm wondering if I inherited that from my dad. He was an alcoholic & went to AA at the end of his life. He saw his friend get killed in front of him in high school. He got hooked on alcohol since then.
 

Jah-son

Well-known member
You ask if anyone else has experienced fear of eternity?
Yes, on occasions I have had very deep, extreme anxiety over eternity. Some might call it panic or anxiety attacks.
I believe that as the bible rightly states, Jehovah placed eternity into each of us, into our psyche:
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has even put eternity in their heart; yet mankind will never find out the work that the true God has made from start to finish." Eccl 3:11.
In eastern traditions, they would refer to this concept of eternity as "Karma".
Since most of us go through life day by day, living mainly in the present, we rarely seriously ponder beyond a few years into the future.
Often when people are facing death, this reality of eternity tends to slap them in the face. Hence the saying, my life flashed before my eyes.
For me, it was this death like experience that triggered my "fear of eternity".
There are certain substances that can bring on what is referred to as "ego death" which literally causes your life to flash before your minds eye, both past, present and future. This happens almost instantaneously. It can be an extremely frightening experience.
I don't think that most of us have the ability to process such an experience so it tends to bring on fear. This is what happens to me almost every time I'm in this state. I would describe it as almost a tunnel vision of infinity, both forward and backward from my personal perspective.
Unless one has experienced this state, it can be difficult to describe. It feels like being stuck in an infinite maze or puzzle that you can never escape. A feeling of mental clostophobia.
There have even been certian movies that triggered this anxiety. One being the movie "Memento". I only got through half of that movie due to it triggering an anxiety attack.
Another one is "Interstellar". Especially the scene where Joseph Cooper gets stuck in the tesseract. I got goose bumps and started tearing up during that part of the movie.
Ultimately, I think it boils down to a fear of the unknown and uncertainty. What has helped me to overcome it is the realization that I am a creator. Jehovah has gifted me with the power to create my own destiny (free will). In fact, that realization is a gift in itself. It truly frees one from the confines of our own mental slavery. Each moment of each day, we can create whatever moment we so choose. Children know this but we tend to loose sight of this fact as adults. In reality, there are very few limitations. Satan is the one who wants us to feel limited and powerless. Then he wants us to blame Jehovah for those limitations when really we are the ones to blame, because we doubt our ability to create something better for ourselves. Oh how we love those stories of people who have overcome adversity, don't we. Why? Because they seem rare and inspiring. But all of us have the ability to do the same if we choose to let go of fear and doubt. We aren't confined to the tunnel of time. Time is an illusion. That tunnel is simply one out of an infinity of possibilities. If you look to the left another tunnel appears. And to the right another, and another, and another...for you to choose. Have a great day.
 

Ana

Well-known member
Ese sí que es un buen consejo, Ana. Absolutamente cierto y digno de tomar nota. ¿Dónde has estado? No te he visto por aquí últimamente.👍
Hola hola!!! Ey, si, cualquier consejo para apartar al los malos de verdad siempre es bueno, cierto? Conseguirlo es otra cosa. Por eso siempre estamos en la lucha contra ellos, contra nosotros mismos,a tiempo completo, nos mantiene activos este mundo!!! Y si, hace tiempo que no tengo tiempo. La mala salud y el trabajo en una zona turística son un combo duro de combinar, y asomo el hocico cuando puedo. En realidad el trabajo está fuera del foro, hay que predicar!! Así que extraño el otoño de una manera especial y está ola de calor española que nos está agotando!!! Pero aguantamos con una sonrisa!!!! Siempre positivos!!! Te mando un abrazo!! Como estas tú?? Y esa talla de madera como va?? Pertenecer a un foro de habla inglesa y que sepas que alguien te lee y nota tu ausencia, es digno de una sonrisa a plena dentadura!! Ja!! Toda tuya😁. Dejo todo en manos del traductor!!! Que sea lo que Dios quiera!!! ♥️
 

BARNABY THE DOG.

Well-known member
Hola hola!!! Ey, si, cualquier consejo para apartar al los malos de verdad siempre es bueno, cierto? Conseguirlo es otra cosa. Por eso siempre estamos en la lucha contra ellos, contra nosotros mismos,a tiempo completo, nos mantiene activos este mundo!!! Y si, hace tiempo que no tengo tiempo. La mala salud y el trabajo en una zona turística son un combo duro de combinar, y asomo el hocico cuando puedo. En realidad el trabajo está fuera del foro, hay que predicar!! Así que extraño el otoño de una manera especial y está ola de calor española que nos está agotando!!! Pero aguantamos con una sonrisa!!!! Siempre positivos!!! Te mando un abrazo!! Como estas tú?? Y esa talla de madera como va?? Pertenecer a un foro de habla inglesa y que sepas que alguien te lee y nota tu ausencia, es digno de una sonrisa a plena dentadura!! Ja!! Toda tuya😁. Dejo todo en manos del traductor!!! Que sea lo que Dios quiera!!! ♥️
Hello Ana, yes the sight translates very well really, apart from the odd word. I like to keep in touch . Lots of people come and go but I think you are the only Spanish member. i hope things are going well with you. 👍😀
 

Ana

Well-known member
Vi que no has estado aqui desde hace muchos dias. ¿Cómo estás? Te extrañe, mi [USUARIO=7]@Ana[/USUARIO].
Hermosa mía!!! La espinita que llevamos en este sistema, me está dando guerra!!! Me he puesto en modo hibernación pero ahí voy despertando poco a poco. Yo también te extraño. Ya voy asomando la patita, de a poco my sis😘
 

יהוה_saves

Well-known member
@Ana

Tranquilo y despacio mi amiga. yo se como te sientes- este mundo inicuo es muy difícil - para el Jehovah- sobrevivimos con nuestras vidas como as regalos.

Siempre- to rezo por y contigo todos los dias mi amiga española.

Por favor, recuerda mi en tus oraciones. Gracias. y por favor, visite mas a menudo Amo mucho

*MUAH*
 

Ms_ladyblue

Well-known member
Well when I say fear I mean despair with feeling of imminent danger. There are times I wonder if I am in a situation like one of the protagonists in an H.P. Lovecraft story. If you have ever read his works he truly can be considered the father of cosmic horror with settings like knowing too much drives you into madness, scary beings that are bizarre in nature (like it influenced John Carpenter's movie "The Thing"), & cosmic gods that are amoral & horrifying seeing humans as mere vermin. I had this fear of Jehovah as well as his creation for some time where it made me wonder if we were dealing with a demiurge. I'd at times wonder if the who God vs Satan was to cosmic being fighting over mankind like two wolves over a piece of meat. It almost felt like earth was a prison or worse a farm. If that were the case heaven would be hell with a smile. There were plenty of nightmare's related to the new system (even one's with no cosmic horror but just being lost & out of place). I hate that I have to type this but had I spoke to the elders about it they would've thought I was possessed. I spoke to my therapist about it and he said it's best not to ponder on it.
This video might give an idea on the feeling:
PJ, I never stopped to read this after you posted it a few months ago but after I read it I wondered, what was it that appealed to you that made you want to study the Bible?
 

PJ54

Well-known member
PJ, I never stopped to read this after you posted it a few months ago but after I read it I wondered, what was it that appealed to you that made you want to study the Bible?
Being in Christendom I had a fear of hell. Even if it's mentioned seldom due to the church being one of those more upbeat happy churches, the idea of it still lingers. When I searched for the truth I started to read the Gospel of Mathew from the 1611 KJV & from there I ended up studying with the JW's. It's why we all need reminders on who God is & to keep in mind what His will is. Because there's so much information out there, there is a TON of confusion on what is true or not. I think this fear I have is Satan's roaring lion approach.
 

Ms_ladyblue

Well-known member
One thing I came across today might explain much about myself. It's an article I found.

PJ, I believe that the symptoms from ADHD are very real as well as the causes mentioned in the article.

However in many cases there is also a root cause that brings about those symptoms. Interestingly, there is research that proves even childhood vaccination can have long term side effects including ADHD.
 
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BARNABY THE DOG.

Well-known member
One thing I came across today might explain much about myself. It's an article I found.

It an interesting hypothesis, however, were that the case, we would have seen spikes of it measured against events known to cause trauma on a wider scale. Rather, we see a continual growth, as we do in other medical conditions and that indicates a wider affliction of and to, general health conditions and changes in blood chemistry and genetics. The scales of measurement used in identifying autism and ADHD, show that generally they are traits of such in variant degrees in an enormous population. The key then is whether or not those symptoms affect ones’s daily life, as in the more commonly known, though equally not understood Obsessional disorders - the difference between the two of course is that OCD can be reasoned with, and autism and ADHD, cannot - they have to be treated or lived with.

If we factor in the affects of this system upon normal growth, understanding the pro-rata growth in neurological instability becomes more easily understood, all the more so in terms of medical treatments as Ladyblue points out in her reply. What is happening is that the pressures and responses in society is aggravating those of whom their genetic wiring is susceptible to such - a predisposition to certain responses is triggered and, for example, in a similar fashion to atrial fibrillation of the heart, once the pathway is established, it is almost impossible to stop it. Thus self awareness and an understanding of the condition is essential to living with one’s self and reducing the impact of their normality of life on others, so that living with the norm of the general population becomes easier and more possible to rationalise both with them and for one’s self. A one eyed man in a population of the blind is king. Thus it is a question, an endless question, of accommodating one’s self to living in a society of conceptual strangers who can not understand the world experienced by those so ‘afflicted’ by difference.

It comes as a surprize for many people, that one cannot be cured of their normality. Worse, normality for ones’s self is considered a choice in areas where it patently is not. However, many hang on to that concept to excuse their selfish behaviours - more often than not in areas of sexuality and getting their own way. In coming to terms with ADHD, you could consider building your world around the parts that you are comfortable with, rather than fighting it to fit in to a society that is blind to your normality, where such is available to you. For the rest, when conformity is a must, you just have to speak their language. Take note of the Japanese maxim by Ping Fu: “Bamboo is flexible, as it bends with the wind, without breaking, able to meet and adapt to any circumstance.” Work then with what you have, rather than try to mimic what others call reality.
 

PJ54

Well-known member
It an interesting hypothesis, however, were that the case, we would have seen spikes of it measured against events known to cause trauma on a wider scale. Rather, we see a continual growth, as we do in other medical conditions and that indicates a wider affliction of and to, general health conditions and changes in blood chemistry and genetics. The scales of measurement used in identifying autism and ADHD, show that generally they are traits of such in variant degrees in an enormous population. The key then is whether or not those symptoms affect ones’s daily life, as in the more commonly known, though equally not understood Obsessional disorders - the difference between the two of course is that OCD can be reasoned with, and autism and ADHD, cannot - they have to be treated or lived with.

If we factor in the affects of this system upon normal growth, understanding the pro-rata growth in neurological instability becomes more easily understood, all the more so in terms of medical treatments as Ladyblue points out in her reply. What is happening is that the pressures and responses in society is aggravating those of whom their genetic wiring is susceptible to such - a predisposition to certain responses is triggered and, for example, in a similar fashion to atrial fibrillation of the heart, once the pathway is established, it is almost impossible to stop it. Thus self awareness and an understanding of the condition is essential to living with one’s self and reducing the impact of their normality of life on others, so that living with the norm of the general population becomes easier and more possible to rationalise both with them and for one’s self. A one eyed man in a population of the blind is king. Thus it is a question, an endless question, of accommodating one’s self to living in a society of conceptual strangers who can not understand the world experienced by those so ‘afflicted’ by difference.

It comes as a surprize for many people, that one cannot be cured of their normality. Worse, normality for ones’s self is considered a choice in areas where it patently is not. However, many hang on to that concept to excuse their selfish behaviours - more often than not in areas of sexuality and getting their own way. In coming to terms with ADHD, you could consider building your world around the parts that you are comfortable with, rather than fighting it to fit in to a society that is blind to your normality, where such is available to you. For the rest, when conformity is a must, you just have to speak their language. Take note of the Japanese maxim by Ping Fu: “Bamboo is flexible, as it bends with the wind, without breaking, able to meet and adapt to any circumstance.” Work then with what you have, rather than try to mimic what others call reality.
I think the term is "masking". When it comes to the status quo, you have to "mask" in order to get by. It's really rough doing that but necessary. You reminded me of a YouTuber named Max Derrat that talks about video games but also has a ton of information on neurodivergence. I'm grateful for his content.
Here's a couple of playlists of his on the subject:

Here's a video:
 

MickHewitt

Well-known member
I think the term is "masking". When it comes to the status quo, you have to "mask" in order to get by. It's really rough doing that but necessary. You reminded me of a YouTuber named Max Derrat that talks about video games but also has a ton of information on neurodivergence. I'm grateful for his content.
Here's a couple of playlists of his on the subject:

Here's a video:
Reminds me of old Beatles tune.
Eleanor Rigby:Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door....Who is it for?
 

PJ54

Well-known member
I just came across these videos on being in a survival state. This explains a lot in my life & I'm sure many of you can relate to some degree!

 
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kirmmy

Well-known member
I just came across this video on being in a survival state. This explains a lot in my life & I'm sure many of you can relate to some degree!

I stopped worrying about anything TBH. Haven't had a steady job in 2.5 year? Meh. Old friends think I'm a nut because I don't believe the magic sauce is from God himself? Oh well. The PTB want me dead ASAP? Who cares.

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything" to quote a movie/book.

Or maybe it's just that I don't give a damn anymore...
 

Ms_ladyblue

Well-known member
I just came across these videos on being in a survival state. This explains a lot in my life & I'm sure many of you can relate to some degree!

This is just how I feel, not interested in doing anything or going anywhere anymore. I only do what I have to do and maybe when I have to do it. Sometimes we suffer in silence although on the outside we seem ok. Thanks for sharing this video PJ. I’ll keep the suggestions given in mind.
 
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BARNABY THE DOG.

Well-known member
This is just how I feel, not interested in doing anything or going anywhere anymore. I only do what I have to do and maybe when I have to do it. Sometimes we suffer in silence although on the outside we seem ok. Thanks for sharing this video PJ. I’ll keep the suggestions given in mind.
It sounds as though you have been given a lottery number and not bothered to cash it in and enjoy the freedom! You are your own master and don’t know it, so it seems. When I suddenly found myself retired I rejoiced in not having to go anywhere or do anything. The relief in not having to engage with the world was like manna from heaven, and drinking the best wine at the end of the party, rather than the stuff handed out at first. However, I realised that I should have adopted many of the points I have now, a lot earlier in life. It is glib to say it, I know, but sometimes it’s best to have a positive attitude as well as finding the strength to say “up yours” to the world. I think the watchtower influence also exacerbates this feeling of ”why bother”, in fact, I’m certain it does - I recall it being drummed into my head that I was just an unworthy slave, and that all that I do, I should have done anyway, and that there is no reward in life other than being a slave for Jehovah. Well, there is, and that too is from Jehovah, and is called being a worthy slave, and being “delighted” in the work of our hands. I found that to be so very true and worthy of living for. If we cannot love ourselves, then we cannot love another and the best way to love ourselves, is to give our love away and if we do that with care, then it will return to us a “hundred fold”. We reap what we sow and it is the hardest of all lessons to learn, but likewise, it is the most solid achievement in life if we are mindful of our creator. It is not who we are or what we are, but in what we do. Don’t leave it as long as I did to find that out.
 
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