I really appreciate your response here Driven, very good points. I was also thinking of the description of satan in Ezekiel when I was meditating on his position and attitude. He no doubt thinks very highly of himself and his envy of Jehovah and Jesus has surely escalated over the ages.
But also, since he is so clever and deceitful and we only have a fraction of the actual truth, maybe he has manipulated our complete perception of everything. Maybe nothing is as it seems. That’s where my digging is leading me lately. Forgive me all of you if this seems heretical, I truly want to believe the “word of God” in its entirety, but how do we know it isn’t half truths, compiled to blind and mislead us down to this day. Who decided what was to be included in the inspired canon? Weren’t they apostates from true Christianity?
Why would Jehovah preserve such a confusing mess of books and say live by these words or face destruction... when billions of people all interpret the words differently based on their unique circumstances and upbringing?
Like I said in a previous post, I am starting over. I am scraping away everything WT and GB taught me and researching with unbiased eyes, and it doesn’t add up.
@Jess once said to me that this is her time in the wilderness, like Jesus time w Jehovah when knowledge of his prehuman existence was revealed to him. No doubt it took that long, even for a perfect man to process that kind of revelation. I am here alone, asking Jehovah to help me figure out who he is and what he wants.